She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
