I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want nice things and good sex
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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