I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
