so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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