remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
