I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
