You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
