so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
foreskin is a definite game changer
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
