Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
