Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
