no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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