Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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