I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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