We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
