Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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