she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
