i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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