sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
420 ftw
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
