I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
