I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
