So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just google imaged poop.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
