girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
