They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
