I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
