Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
