shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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