The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would fuck him just for his dog
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
