dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
