I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
