Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My hand turned me down
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
