so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
