You just made me feel so damn special
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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