he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
