toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
