party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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