A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize