Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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