its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
