i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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