I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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