Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
