Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize