I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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