if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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