what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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