she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
