i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
