I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize