Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize