bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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