somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
