He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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