he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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