And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
