So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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