SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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