It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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