Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
