a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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