We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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