when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
