if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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