I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
