I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
