i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
