Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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