marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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