I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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