As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize