we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
