Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
